Warnings Humor Page
Alcohol Warnings
The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol bottles,
such as:
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are
not.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same story over and over
again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are dying for
you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the heck happened to
your pants.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see
something really scary
(whose species and or name you can't remember).
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on
the forehead.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,
handsomer and smarter
than some REALLY, REALLY big guy named Kerry.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that you are invisible.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that people are laughing
WITH you.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the space-time continuum,
whereby small (and some-time large) gaps of time may seem to "disappear."
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
TommiGyrl5@aol.com adds these two warnings:
WARNING: Comsumption of alcohol might leave you with a large capet
cleaning bill, after you've thrown up all over your best friends house.
WARNING: Comsumption of alcohol might leave you with years of ridicule from your best
friends little sister, after she was woken up at 3 in the morning to help her idolized
older brother clean up your vomit.
Want to contribute to this page? Contact June Shaputis